Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Quarter life crisis

Quarter-life crisis = The quarterlife crisis is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis.


[Source wikipedia]


Disclaimer: This post is not related to Samvedana..This is an outburst of the rarely observed not-so-like-me side of my persona..


Prologue:


When this title struck my mind, it sounded quite funny. Doesn't seem so funny now, somehow.. whatever!


There can exist few variations to this title – “The one with the last one from -H's desk” "I rant therefore I am" or "Selling whines" and the like


The Rant:


I never thought I can ever get all melodramatic about leaving college Change is good and awesome and the more of it the better is always what I have believed in. Staying at home is a good change, a huge one indeed. But, life inside campus was exhilarating and comfortable. You want time for yourself? Shut your door and play some of your favorite music at any volume you wish to, drink bucket loads of coffee, do some thinking and writing and thinking and writing and there you go! Your mind which was fogged with all kinds of thoughts is now clear. You cannot be all that cranky at home, can you?



The whole circle of friends which you have so carefully woven for the past 4 years is now torn apart and its elements are living as discrete entities. They are no longer just a door step away, they are no longer beside your desk, they are no longer hanging out there at the coffee shop nor are they out there to chat up and make things up when they go terribly wrong! Things like these, which seemed nightmarish an year ago are actually happening for real now.



You know very well that you deserve a lot better in all spheres but are not really getting them. And anything on which you are laying your hands is ending up as a huge disaster making you feel as a cursed Midas, making you feel it was rather better before when things were untouched and you did not venture upon anything new which led to spinning a web around yourself out of which you cannot get out now! Is this Quarter-Life Crisis?


And the only thing which keeps you going in this murky, rather gloomy road and the only thing which offers you any solace is Samvedana..


What do you do when your most precious and treasured (personal/professional)dreams take a toll on you/seem to crash right in front of you? Tired that you are, with a sense of bewilderment, you rummage for support around rather helplessly, but you hardly find any! You feel like running away, far far away to a “no-one-to-judge-me” land


The Epilogue:-


And when you have run some distance and slow down and turn back, probably you will realize that you have been giving smaller things a greater deal of importance – something which was not needed. Probably, when you have run far enough and turn back, you might have zoomed out the scene a bit and might now see the actual big picture which was so totally missing from where you started running! Probably the whole image will get loaded now and the view will become clearer to you.. Probably..


Being mushy isn't my cup of tea..I esshhtaaapp. :D



Oh n btw0: Possibly, I must have sounded clich├ęd all through the post.

Oh n btw1: Song of the day: Coldplay’s Trouble.



Adios,

Deepti